Firstly, this post is obviously not a review kekeke.
Confidence.
Why do you think this topic hits me until I feel like I HAVE to blog about this?
I am not really in a good shape of health. Mentally, to be exact. I am exhausted, with so many stuffs to keep up, many people to protect (cewah!), and I need to take a good care of myself too. I don't talk much, sometimes I don't talk at all, except if I am comfortable with you. We got our own problems, but we can't complain, though. Because Allah didn't test us more than what we can handle.
But tough times are the times that we really, really need someone to talk to. And by someone, I mean someone precious to us, not to talk bad about the others, but just to make us feel better by listening, or even just be there!
As I don't have that special someone yet (Read : YET), and I don't think it's right to kacau my married best friend in the middle of the night HAHA, and I dont wanna make my mom worry , you know how terrible Moms worry, right? they will start think too much, which will stress her out padahal tak ada apa pon. Moms, :') , so I decided that I just need a "Me Time".
as if I havent get enough me time already HAHA!
So I started to go to places, alone after work. You know, took some photos (remember I said I wanna learn to take great photos HERE), wandering around instead of being depressed alone in the room and letting my thoughts controlling me. And this hits me- Confidence.
but pretty walls like this makes me regret strolling around alone because there was no one I could ask to take pictures hahaha
Why confidence?
Lets talk about the most basic thing- Eat. How many of you are okay with eating alone? I found that there are so many people who's afraid & don't have the confidence to eat alone. Some said they'd rather die starving than eating alone. Die starving? You sure or not? Later you really starving ah, don't update on facebook ok?. *read using chinglish slank
Well as for me, I'm cool with eating alone. What I'm not cool with are being starved, stomach hurts from hunger then gastric pulak, and I am totally not cool with the thoughts of food when I am hungry - just because I don't have friends to eat with.
Dude, if people stare, it would be because you sit at a huge table and make other people who came to eat with family got no seat. Or maybe because they recognize your beauty but too shy to approach. Or you should try to eat in front of the mirror, see if maybe the way you eat is super weird which makes people stare. HAHAHA!
As a food blogger, still a baby in this thing, I often take a great shoot when I was with my friend. Why? Because I don't care if people are watching- because we are acting weird TOGETHER, we make noise TOGETHER, we take pictures TOGETHER, and people stares at us TOGETHER too. Like "Akulah raja, aku pedulik apa" kinds of things. But when I eat alone- I take pictures alone, rate the food alone, being stared alone and so much more alone! Which makes me less confident.
|| How do I overcome this?
I always keep this in mind- What if I am travelling or have to work outstation, and found some cute insta-worthy food to take pictures of? well, not a problem, right? But what if the food looks real good, tastes real yummy, the cafe / stall looks real dope, and I feel like I need to blog and tell the others about the cafe? I can't be like, "takpelah lain kali datang dengan kawan lah". So, when will this "lain kali" be? Trust me, the post won't come out pon nanti sebab that "lain kali" always turns out "tak jadi", whether sebab bajet, sebab busy or sebab takde yang boleh teman. So I better buat je, amik je gambar, lantakkan je orang tengok. It's not like they pay for your bills, kan?
Another example, is when you go to the interview.
Do you think you can pass and hired by being takut-takut and not confident? And if you wanna hire a staff, would you hire someone like you? Think.
We can't rely on others too much, be independent, be confident. If you are not confident, build it. Find ways. I can't deny that having a friend to hang out with is better, but there are times when we have to do it alone. You don't drag your friends in the interview.
I was at IT Roo cafe (will blog about this later!), alone, in a cafe full of customers, and I feel super awkward. SUPER AWKWARD. But I just pergi lantakkan everything and set in mind that "I wanna do a blog post about this cafe and most importantly, I'm starving". So, yeah, I did it! But I still shy shy cat and don't take lots of pictures but it feels good because I started taking pictures even when I am alone.
And I wanna do better next time.
Speak louder, with confidence. talk, walk, do things with confidence. But dont be overconfident sampai taknak tanya lepastu habis semua salah HAHAHA. If you are being asked to so something that you've never even heard of, ASK. jangan takut and hentam je sebab tak confident nak tanya. Okay?
I'm gonna stop here, I dont wana nag too much as #iamnotyourmother LOL.
Oh, be sure to like my facebook page for this blog HERE ya! Muchas gracias!
Till then,
Thank you for reading this entry!
hani shubie
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